So on facebook an argument has been going on about Slut Shaming in schools, which liberals seem to think that because schools have dress codes they are calling girls who want to wear clothes that don’t agree with the dress code ‘sluts’ to ‘shame’ them. Here are my thoughts on the matter, there is a time and place for everything. So what does that mean? Now this next part will be generalizations, but if you went on a job interview, would you wear a bathing suit? generally not unless it was an interview for a swimsuit model. would you wear a toga to your friends wedding? Would you go to a black tie event in shorts and sandals? How about boxer shorts/panties to a store? I sit around my home watching TV in my underwear, I wouldn’t go to the park in them though. why? because I know what is appropriate to wear to a park, wedding, interview, beach and so forth.
I work at a place with a lenient dress code, I wear jeans and a T-shirt almost every day, some of the jeans have large holes in them, and my hair is dyed a bright red, yet when we are hiring someone, I expect them to come dressed at least reasonably well, maybe not a suit and tie, but at least a dress shirt and nice pants for men and a nice dress or suit for women, after they are hired then they are welcome to dress how they like… ALMOST. If an employee came in wearing something that had her ass hanging out, you can bet she will be spoken to, and no, this doesn’t just apply to women, if a guy came in wearing a banana hammock, they would get the same. Our company is a small company, but it is owned by a very large company, when anyone from the main office in New York is in town and will be visiting, everyone is told they are coming and to dress well, guess what, we come in better dressed on those day, no, we don’t wear a suit and tie, but we put on nicer clothes. We also have company parties, some of them used to be held at nightclubs and restaurants, those functions were also times when we would dress up. I am pretty sure that hoochie pants and short short skirts were not the appropriate dress for any of those events, anyone wearing those would be talked to, and ‘slut shaming’ would not have been the reason!
School are there to teach, at least they are supposed too, one of the things they are teaching is how to survive in the real world, school isn’t like the real world, the real world is much stricter, but in a sense, school is like work for kids, just a little more relaxed. So if work has a ‘dress code’, then why would a dress code at school be considered ‘slut shaming’? let’s look at the slut shaming article, they point to a school that banned tight pants because it distracts the boys, that’s dumb, they are teenage boys, girls are going to distract them. There is the principal that asked parents to cover they daughters who were wearing leggings and yoga pants to school, two girls that were sent home from prom because their clothes were too revealing, a girl with too short a skirt, and some other girls sent home from prom because their clothes was too revealing. Is this slut shaming, or just a lesson in the real world? Yes, I would guess the ‘too revealing’ is arbitrary, but life is just as arbitrary isn’t it. and any of those reasons could get you in a meeting with your boss about appropriate work attire in the real world. Is this an attack on women only? of course not, but boys really don’t have the range of clothing that could be considered inappropriate, unless of course, they wear the aforementioned banana hammock to prom, I’m pretty sure they would also get sent home.
I think women (and men) can wear whatever they want, if the situation is appropriate for it, I used to work as a photographer, I would wear what was appropriate, a suit and tie, this is what I would wear when I would shoot a wedding too, pretty sure my boss would not be happy if I showed up in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, whether my boss was the studio manager or the bride and groom. When I was photographing kids, I could get away with a Homer Simpson or other cartoon tie because it was appropriate, not so much so at a wedding. So why would it be slut shaming if a women wears something inappropriate and is told so?
Every man is a rapist, he just doesn’t know it yet, all it takes is a women to wear the wrong thing and they will pounce. Well at least that seems to be what feminists tell us, which kind of seems odd to me, because they also say that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power. So which is it? What does an 80 year old women wear to make her look so sexy to a rapist? How about a four year old? Must be something spectacular that I’ve never seen. I think if that was true, every women would have been raped and every man would be a rapist, but then again, I think feminists might actually think that. There are bad people out in the world, both men and women, they don’t care what you wear or how you look. I just don’t understand when they say ‘A women should be able to wear what they want when they want.’, well I pointed out some reasons that this isn’t true, but lets look at it as if they mean when they are on their own time, going out to party. Well then this would be true… if you live in Shangri La, see the aforementioned bad people comment! Let’s put it this way, she wasn’t raped because of what she was wearing, she didn’t bring it on herself, she was raped because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and if she used poor judgement, well it is still not her fault. OK, now I know I’ll get people jumping on me because of the poor judgement remark. Well guess what, depending on what happened, poor judgement many be a factor. Put it this way, if I go out alone wearing my best, gold rings on my fingers, gold chains around my neck, flashing a lot of cash and I go into a bad part of town (and it doesn’t even have to be a bad part of town either), get drunk and pass out, I used bad judgement. Now if nothing happened, I have all my cash and gold then was I lucky? Would you think I had it coming if all my gold and cash are gone? How about if someone was stealing my stuff and in my drunken stupor I try to fight and get injured or killed? Was I asking for it? I’m sure some will say yes, just as they might say yes she was asking to get raped, but that I think is more of a ‘What a dumb ass’ kind of reaction. The previous scenario would probably turn our better if I hadn’t gone alone or had left the gold and been more discreet with the cash.
So now we get to the tricky part, the so called ‘The Accused’ portion if you will. if you are unfamiliar, The Accused is a movie where Jody Foster goes to a bar while on drugs in provocative clothes and is acting provocatively towards the men and gets gang raped. so the defense tries to use it as a defense, the old she was asking for it. Was she asking for it? of course not, was she acting stupidly, yes. did she take responsibility for acting stupid, well it’s been a while since I saw it but I don’t think so, she put all responsibility on the men. No I’m not saying the men were blameless because of that, as a matter of fact, they too were drunk, acting stupid and not taking responsibility for what they had done. As in the getting robbed scenario above, taking responsibility for your actions doesn’t mean you deserved what happened, it means you realize you may have done something stupid. sadly, some lessons are learned in a very harsh way. When you are a kid, you mom and dad try to teach you how to be safe, yet them telling you not to touch the flames doesn’t always work, you have to touch the flame to learn not to do it again. parents also say not to go with strangers, yet sadly kids do it every day, is it a kids fault if they get kidnapped, of course not, but they have the excuse of being naive and trusting, most adults who get burned touching the flame don’t get that fallback, the ‘I can do what I want’ is true, but the flame doesn’t care, it still burns. So there I go again, saying that she was asking for it, no, but being responsible and maybe going with several friends and not getting drunk off your ass will save you from losing your money, jewelery and whatever else. Do I think women should wear what they want, in the appropriate situation yes, I like women, I don’t want them all wearing hajibs.
But of course, when all is said and done, as stated earlier, there is evil in the world, bad things happen, no matter what you do or wear. Stay safe.