Bakerstreet

How about a little story?

Bob lives in a modest cookie cutter house with his wife and two kids. Him and his wife work hard and have a good life together. The Bob family is in perfect health. Bob is in peak condition, he jogs ten miles to work and back every day. He eats healthy, works out and gets a physical every year. He eats meats, seafood and vegetables in moderate healthy portions, he only occasionally drinks wine and has never ever smoked. His body inside and out is prefect. His heart is strong and beats like a perfectly tuned engine, in fact, every organ in his body is in peak condition. his wife and kids are in similar condition

Frank is Bob’s next door neighbor, almost everything about Franks life is the same as Bob’s, he has a wife and two kids, lives in the same type of cookie cutter house, works for the same company, does about the same thing as Bob. The differences are mostly personal, Frank doesn’t jog to work, he takes his car when he does go in, but he mostly telecommutes. His body is in no where near the condition that Bob’s is. He is twice the weight he should be, he sits all day on his couch and works on his computer, all the while eating snacks and twinkies, his lunch is usually two large pizzas that he has delivered and dinner is whatever greasy fast food that his wife picks up on her way home from work. Frank smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily. His arteries are severely clogged, his liver resembles a little black rock and his lungs are black with cancerous growths.

Bob works hard to take care of himself and it shows, Frank doesn’t care and doesn’t even try.

Sadly Frank’s lungs and liver are failing, his heart is working harder then it needs to to pump blood around his large body. Frank is not going to last much longer. You see, Frank doesn’t need money, that won’t help him, Frank needs new lungs and a new liver. It’s wrong that poor Frank has no way to get the things that he needs to continue living, it’s criminal even. Then there is that horrible Bob guy, he has his perfect body while Frank wastes away. But this isn’t a sad story, don’t worry, it has a happy ending. You see in this world, there is government healthcare, Everyone gets cared for. So if Frank doesn’t have what he needs, that’s OK, you see, Bob has what Frank needs. So we’ll take a prefect lung from Bob, he does have two, and we’ll take half his perfect liver and we’ll give them to Frank.

Yay, now Frank can go back to eating his Yummy greasy burgers, and his ciggies and booze, and Bob, well he’s fine too, so what if he doesn’t have the lung capacity to jog to work anymore, that’s what cars are for! Hmm, Frank’s wife and kids are not looking good, maybe we need to get Bobs prefect little wife on the table…and when do his kids turn 18?

David Swensen comments that the government should examine their profiles and lifestyles before helping Frank, but there are no ‘death panels’ in this story, everyone is treated equally! Thanks for commenting David.

OK, well you saw the first one but I thought it wasn’t clear enough and his hair was hard to see so here he is again, bigger and with his VP,  I mean his TP!

So Miss California is said to have lost the Miss USA crown because of comments she made about homosexual marriage. Her comments are considered controversial because she thought marriage should be between a man and a woman. Why should this be controversial? It is her opinion.

OK, this part may get me in trouble with some of the homosexuals that I know or have known. I’m sure you are wondering what my thoughts on gay marriage. Well to be frank, I don’t care either way. I think that gays should get the benefits of marriage, and if they make gay marriage legal then I’m fine with that, and if they don’t I’m fine with that too.

I guess I have no real investment in any of it, and homosexuals are not helping themselves with their actions. I find it hilarious that in California, gays are all up in arms that the gay marriage amendment failed. Really? what did you think would happen? To get Obama in the White House you needed to get the black and hispanic vote, neither of which would vote yes to gay marriage. You sabotaged yourselves, you have no call to be angry except at yourselves. Blaming the mormons or the churches or people that gave donations to groups fighting the amendment doesn’t help your cause. It also shows that I have seen no protests against muslims, another block of voters that would definitely vote against gay marriage but would also fight back (look towards the UK if you don’t believe it)! I posted a photo of a gay marriage in Iran a while back, as I said then, grow a pair.

So was Miss California supposed to lie to win the crown? I applaud her for sticking by her beliefs and not buckling in to liberal pressure, especially being from California, the bastion of liberal PC bullshit. As for prickz hilton, how would he feel if he was expressing him opinion and he was ridiculed like he has done to her (and to all the others with similar beliefs)? Not that it would happen in liberal California, where they think that only their opinions count. But tell you what prickz, why don’t you go to Iran or Saudi Arabia or Egypt and spread your beliefs that anyone against gay marriage is a Cunt! You won’t last long, but I’ll have more respect for you, and take Jeanne Garofalo with you OK. Until then Fuck Off And Die.

The name on the caller ID was unfamiliar but that’s not unusual for my work phone, most of the calls I receive come from other employees and not clients.

sherlock – my department, can I help you?
caller – Hi, sherlock, it’s Chris Muir.

Holy cow Chris Muir called me! I had emailed him earlier and he was nice enough to call me back with a reply, that’s so cool! Of course now WB is envious, but he did comment on her site today.

REICH: …”I am concerned, as I’m sure many of you are, that these jobs not simply go to high-skilled people who are already professionals or to white male construction workers…I have nothing against white male construction workers, I’m just saying there are other people who have needs as well.”

The sheep were in the fields near Washington. They were watching their nightly news during the night and an anchor of the MSM suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the O shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the anchor said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of Washington there has been elected for you a Savior, who is Obama.  This will be a sign for you: you will find Barack wrapped in expensive clothes and lying from a podium.”  

And suddenly there appeared with the achor, a multitude of the heavenly MSM praising O and saying,  “Glory to Obama in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom the O is pleased with.”

The sheep said to each other, “Let’s go to Washington and see what the O has told us about.”

It was just outside of EPCOT, when the drugs began to take hold.

It was 4:30 in the morning when I got to the starting line. the crowds had already gathered to watch the start of the race which was still one and a half hours away. I stood eating a banana and drinking a coke to try to stay awake, the banana finished I considered the peels fate, i could hardly leave to dispose of it and lose my spot could I? I wondered if sabotage was allowed for the race, would one less runner offer a better chance for WB? Alas an employee came around picking up garbage so I never got the chance to find out. The countdown had started, I could hear it over the loudspeaker and then the fireworks erupted as the race started.

I was on the side of a highway, a mass of runners moving past me in the dark night, illuminated by the streetlights, the sound of their feet pounding on the asphalt echoing in the morning cold. most of them dressed as runners should, their numbers black on their white bibs, almost glowing and visible before their faces and bodies came into view. Some dressed as characters, Tinkerbell, Minnie Mouse, fairies and princesses. A large gentlemen wearing fairy wings and nothing but a thong below the waist went past… Jesus Christ, what are these God Damn animals? Poor bastards would see him soon enough!

It was at mile four when through the dawning morning WB drifted into view, she slowed, handing me an almost empty water bottle and dead batteries from her camera. I took a photo and she was off again into the morning mist. The crowd had thinned as the runners had gone on. I left this viewing area towards the monorail that would take me into the Magic Kingdom to watch the next part of the race. The mob made their collective way and crammed into the cars. We moved along the tracks above the throbbing mass of runners below making their way to the finish.

I arrived at the transportation center and made my way to the monorail that would take me into the Magic Kingdom. Most of the mass had stayed to watch the runners passing by, so the car was not as crowded as the other had been. I reached the house of the mouse and made my way to main street where the runners were to go by. The wait was fairly short, after Mr Incredible went by,  WB came out of the mass of runners a few minutes later, once again, she shed extra weight, posed for a photo and she was off again. I met up with J&R and we quickly rushed to the castle to see WB come out through the front and weave her way around the path, stopping to pose for another photographer and she was gone, lost in the mass once again.

J&R and me made our way to the bus stop to the next viewing area. We were crammed into the bus and hauled to Animal Kingdom and walked to the viewing area, stopping on the way to get refreshments. The heat had started to kick in, I’ve never been able to properly explain myself in this climate. We had found a shaded area to wait, the runners passing us in waves as we stood watching, Mr Incredible had come and gone, yet WB had yet to pass, she had lost time somewhere along the route, a few Minnies and fairies had gone by, as had Santa. WB finally made her appearance, grabbing my refreshing Coke to drink and she was off again, we watched as she faded into the distance and we made our way back to the meat tube to be taken back to where we had come from, back to the beginning, back to the end of this ordeal.

We made it to the finish line, but we had time to waste. we decided to find some shade and sit, waiting for WBs finish time to get closer. When the time came, we returned to the viewing stand to wait for the end of WBs quest. she arrived triumphantly to the finish line after 7 hours of running, along with all the finishers of the race, for some this would be another in a long line of finishes, for others it would be the only time, the high water mark of their lives that would crest here in the land of imagination and dreams before receding back to their normal everyday lives.

With apologies to Hunter S. Thompson!

This is funny, and if you can’t see it then I think you’re an idiot and deserves ridicule. I had hoped that Colombia had not yet gotten so politicly correct that they can’t laugh at themselves, am I wrong? I give Mike Peters credit for spelling it correctly too, If he drops by the office sometime I’ll let him know I found the strip very funny.

I’m sure someone who is to stupid to read my about box will call me a racist!

I hope everyone has a great day and enjoys their stolen pagan holiday. Oops, sorry, Merry Christmas everyone!

In a Bakerstreet exclusive, the fairness doctrine at work on Rolling Stone magazine.

The full article is really long so it is below the fold.

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The loonies on the left go way beyond the line in the things they do, things that if the right did they would flip out over. The liberals love to write and do things to McCain and Palin that they would consider racist and outrageous if done to Obama. A case in point, Jill Greenberg’s photographs for Atlantic magazine that she decided to photoshop. If a photographer did that to Obama there would be outrage by the liberals, and with reason. So is turnabout fair play? I don’t really think so but…

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I haven’t been feeling well the last few days so the posts have been few. I’ll post some things I’ve been meaning to the last couple of days.

First off, the passing of Richard Wright, keyboardist for Pink Floyd. A sad loss and it leaves 3 Floyds left with very little chance of a reunion.

Matt Damon says ‘I think there’s a really good chance that Obama could be president, and I think that’s the really scary thing. It would be preposterous having Obama as president when his only political experience was being senator for two years and serving as a community organizer.’ ’It’s like a really bad Disney movie. The community organizer from Chicago and he’s the president and it’s like he’s not willing to face down Vladimir Putin.’ ’It’s totally absurd, and I don’t know why more people aren’t talking about how absurd it is.’        I might have gotten that quote wrong?

Of course they want Obama, They want the US weak (until they need help that is), But fuck them, we decide our own fate. I say if they want him, they can elect him their president!

‘I know when I’ve been insulted, I know when I’ve been insulted!!!’ I was told by WB that Rob called me a conservative, I’m not sure what the context was so I’m not sure how to comment on that. I think he needs to look around the site some more. I consider myself more of a libertarian. Most would think me very liberal in my views, but that might be a bigger insult. I vote republican because I think the democrats are idiots. I want my freedoms and I’m willing to fight for them. Then again Rob is a limey, and as such, my views might be far right of what the British idiots are willing to put up with!

What the Fuck eh. I read some article from some Canadian idiot bitching that the US needs to elect Obama, bla bla bla, Palin and McCain bad, bla bla bla. Does this bitch really think we should be taking advice from Canada of all places? Yeah I want advice from a country that lets islam fuck them with their rights. Hell their asses have to hurt from bending over and taking it up the ass so much. But she is safe with this article, I’m sure it is islam human rights kangaroo court approved. Seeing how free speech is an American right, I’ll express my right and say FUCK YOU BITCH EH!

Well that’s all for now, I have more thoughts but I’ll have to dig up links and right now I don’t have time, the job gets in the way!

Update: Link added, thanks WB

As I’ve said before, Obama doesn’t want to be president because he loves his country, he wants to be president because he loves himself, and everyone in Hollywood and at his rallies and even the world loves him. Bow before him. Well everyone except the bitter religious gun clingers, but do they even count? They are not even human are they? more like subhumans that the real humans have to deal with, like cockroaches really. He is a shining star burning very bright that needs those greek columns and a large stadium to hold the large adoring crowds along with his even larger ego. Bow before him. He is the Messiah that will fix everything and nothing. It matters not that he has never done anything, it just matters that he is, bow before him. He has shown that he can out shine everyone, or at least out maneuver them. Bow before him. He did it to Hillary, did she really think she could beat a man, especially one as great as the Messiah? Bow before him. Did that old fish McCain truly think he can out shine the Messiah? Bow before him.

But the star dims, a new star rises and shines brighter then his, how can this be? Panic… Palin

I was so upset when I woke up this morning. Where’s the blackhole we were promised? Dam scientists! now I have to go to work.

Seriously dude, do you really think a bunch of balloons would cause nuclear war? Even with bugs in the software? If that was the case, a large flock of geese would have taken us out long ago. I’m pretty sure the military wouldn’t take a large blob moving at a couple of mile per hour too seriously, and if they did they would most likely send a couple of Jets to check it out first.

Yes this was the song going through my head as I scootered to work this morning, I need speakers in my helmet so I can listen to my iPod and not have one song play over and over the whole trip!

I’m a quiet guy, I don’t usually say much, I just stand around taking everything in and not saying much. I’m also a funny guy, at least that’s what I’m told. Not as in funny looking but a laugh out loud funny. I’ve had people pee their pants from laughing at something I said. It’s not really that I’m trying to be funny, it usually just happens that way. I’ve been told lots of times that I should be a stand up comedian, but truthful I could never be funny on stage.

The biggest problem, besides my fear of public speaking, is that I don’t tell jokes or funny stories, I tend to work off of what other people say or do. Someone says something and I’ll come up with the most outlandish, bizarre, sarcastic, inappropriate or disgusting response, sometimes to the chagrin of whoever is with me. Like the response to the woman at the shoe store when asked if I was going to run the marathon with WB, ‘I don’t run unless someone’s chasing me’ or the reply to the same question for the guy at the TnT meeting we went to, ‘If it doesn’t involve a martini, I want no part of it’. Both of which embarrassed WB and were quite tame by my standards. Most that know me know that if there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed, I’ll go way over it. That kind of humor just doesn’t transfer well to the stage. Standing up on the stage waiting for someone to say something I can respond to wouldn’t make for a good show and I’m not sure I could come up with a funny response to ‘YOU SUCK’.

Also, it tends to be funnier in the moment, writing it or telling someone about it just doesn’t convey the same way. You might not find the two examples funny, but at the time, the horrified look on the guys face was great, and while the woman smiled at the comment, holding in the laughter, the gentleman seated on the stool next to us almost fell off of it from laughing.

I think I know who Barack wants as his VP, and I wouldn’t doubt that he would choose him if he could. He want’s someone that won’t detract from him and that won’t take his spotlight away. So I think he wants it to be Obama/Obama ’08, and not that bitch of a wife of his either. Selecting himself would keep him up front for the whole election and if he is elected, after his 8 to 10 year term as president of all 57 states, his VP could run for another 8 to 10 year term! That’s my guess for his VP pick and I’m sure he’s looking for any loophole to select him.

Poor Bastards, this must be the unemployment line or the line for a soup kitchen or maybe even the free government cheese line! I heard that the line started forming two weeks before it opened and that everywhere the lines are hours long before you get to the front! A friend stood in it for six hours on a Sunday and came away empty handed. Damn that Bushitler. this recession is worse then the 1920s stock market crash, the ecomony is in the toilet. the sky is fall… wait a minute… is that an Apple logo? Is that the line to get the new 3G iPhone? Aww shit, where’s my checkbook, I gotta go…